Happy Fun Time

You wanna try something fun? I mean really, really fun?!? Here's all you have to do:

1. Go over to your girlfriend's apartment at midnight to walk her dog.
2. Take the dog out for a nice walk in the big city.
3. Come back to the apartment building. Realize you've left her keys in her apartment. And your keys. And your wallet.
4. Realize you're totally screwed.
5. Hang out on the street looking nonchalant. Then try to convince women that are coming home alone after midnight that you're SUPPOSED to be let into their building, even though you don't have keys. Or ID. Or an apartment in this building.
6. When you FINALLY convince one of these women to let you into the building (thank you Kristen!), realize that you turned the lock on the apartment door.
7. Realize you're STILL totally screwed.
8. Search through the dumpster out back (being careful to keep the door propped open so you don't have to find another lone woman who'll let you back into the building), then try to break in using a crushed toilet paper tube. (hey, I was desperate!)
9. When a guy comes by and finds you trying to break into one of the apartments in his building, try to convince him that you're not a crook. THEN try to convince him to give you one of his credit cards so you can continue to try to break into one of the apartments in his building.

All I can say is, it's a miracle I didn't spend the night in the slammer with a dog named Ginger and a guy named Tiny.