eat yer hearts out suckers!
I'm rich!!! Yeah, that's right, you heard me -- I'm rich! Check out this email I got (I've x'ed out the numbers so you can't steal any of my money!):
AUSTRALIAN LOTTERY
Lottery Headquarters:
Customer Service:
2nd Floor Communication Building,
Henley Road, Auckland Park,
Sydney ACT 0221, Sydney, Australia.
Australian Lottery is an affiliate of Overseas
Subscriber Agents.
Arena Complex Km 18 Route de Rufisque I.P.P Award
Dept. Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Ref. Number: xxx/xxx/xxxx
Batch Number: xxxxxxxxx-xxxx
From: Mr. Charles Blake
e-mail: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(Lottery Coordinator)
Sir/Madam, [in this case, SIR]
CONGRATULATIONS!!! [I think more emails should start like that]
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Australian Lottery Winners International programs held on the 22nd, July 2004. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number xxxxxxxxxxx-xxxx with serial number xxxx-xxx drew lucky numbers x-xx-xx-xx-xx-xx that consequently won in the 1st category; you have been approved for a lump sum of $1,000,000.00 (One Million US Dollars). [wow -- I don't know where all those numbers came from, but it definitely sounds like I won... and its very progressive of the Australians to offer a prize in American dollars, don't you think?]
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, [uh-oh... a mixup...? I hope this doesn't cause complications later that delay my ckeck for one million US dollars...] we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money ($1,000,000.00) remitted to you. [well of course I will... whadiya think I'm gonna do, put it in my blog?!?] This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by other participants. [ah, y'see -- makes perfect sense!]
All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual e-mail addresses and names all over the world. [how interesting! this must be how I could win without even entering.] This promotional program takes place every two years. This lottery was promoted by the software corporation (GCI Networks) to compensate some few individuals which devoted their time and money surfing the web; [well, I do "devote a lot of time and money to surfing the web"...] with website and email addresses, we hope with part of your winning you will take part in our next year $85million international lottery [oh wow! You mean I can take my one million dollars that was given to ME out of ALL the people who've "surfed the web" for the past TWO YEARS, and try to win ANOTHER lottery for 85 million? Ask for lightning to strike twice?!? Sure, why not!]. Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 10th, August 2004. [hey reader -- don't even THINK about claiming MY prize money before I do -- you're just jealous because you've "devoted alot of time and money to surfing the web" and you didn't get a million clams for it! Do you really think you've devoted as much time and money as I have?!? Do you really think you deserve this as much as I do?!? Do you?!?!?] After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. [oh no!!!] Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications remember to include your batch and reference numbers with all correspondence. [Gee, I hope there's not alot of lengthy, complicated correspondence where they need my credit card number or my bank account number...] Furthermore, should there be any change of address please inform us as soon as possible. Congratulations once again from all members and staffs of Australia Lottery. [wow -- those Australians are such nice people, aren't they? Kinda makes you forget that they were once a colony made up entirely of criminals...]
Thank you for being part of our promotional program. [no, no -- thank you!]
Kindly contact our pay-point-Agent for your payment advice. [my payment... advice?]
Forward to them the following:
(1). Your full names. [well, I've only got one full name...]
(2) Contact telephone and fax numbers (personal and
official). [I didn't know my my personal number wasn't official...]
(3) Contact Address; Residential and place of work. [just in case they want to visit?]
(4) Your I.D. (personal identification card or number). [is that the bar code number on the back of my neck?
(5) Your reference and Batch Number. [oh yes, you mentioned those before...]
(6) Quote amount won. [don't you know?!? After all, I DID win in the first category!]
Contact of the bank (Pay Point Agent): -
Mrs. Grace Jorgenssen.
Manager: Deutsche Bank De Bary N.V.
Ph: xx.xx.xxx.xxx.xxx.
Fax: xx.xx.xx.xxx.xxx.xxx.
e-mail:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sincerely yours,
Mr. Charles Blake.
(Lottery Coordinator).
Wow, well I guess that's it -- I send them my address and they send me a check for the full amount... one million US dollars. As you can all plainly see, I'm rich -- and all for "devoting my time and money to surfing the web". I'm not sure I'll be continuing to write this blog, as this was meant to chronicle the life and times of a struggling artist, not the jet-setting antics of a wealthy playboy... I just hope this new-found wealth doesn't change me in any way...
AUSTRALIAN LOTTERY
Lottery Headquarters:
Customer Service:
2nd Floor Communication Building,
Henley Road, Auckland Park,
Sydney ACT 0221, Sydney, Australia.
Australian Lottery is an affiliate of Overseas
Subscriber Agents.
Arena Complex Km 18 Route de Rufisque I.P.P Award
Dept. Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Ref. Number: xxx/xxx/xxxx
Batch Number: xxxxxxxxx-xxxx
From: Mr. Charles Blake
e-mail: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(Lottery Coordinator)
Sir/Madam, [in this case, SIR]
CONGRATULATIONS!!! [I think more emails should start like that]
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Australian Lottery Winners International programs held on the 22nd, July 2004. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number xxxxxxxxxxx-xxxx with serial number xxxx-xxx drew lucky numbers x-xx-xx-xx-xx-xx that consequently won in the 1st category; you have been approved for a lump sum of $1,000,000.00 (One Million US Dollars). [wow -- I don't know where all those numbers came from, but it definitely sounds like I won... and its very progressive of the Australians to offer a prize in American dollars, don't you think?]
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, [uh-oh... a mixup...? I hope this doesn't cause complications later that delay my ckeck for one million US dollars...] we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money ($1,000,000.00) remitted to you. [well of course I will... whadiya think I'm gonna do, put it in my blog?!?] This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by other participants. [ah, y'see -- makes perfect sense!]
All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual e-mail addresses and names all over the world. [how interesting! this must be how I could win without even entering.] This promotional program takes place every two years. This lottery was promoted by the software corporation (GCI Networks) to compensate some few individuals which devoted their time and money surfing the web; [well, I do "devote a lot of time and money to surfing the web"...] with website and email addresses, we hope with part of your winning you will take part in our next year $85million international lottery [oh wow! You mean I can take my one million dollars that was given to ME out of ALL the people who've "surfed the web" for the past TWO YEARS, and try to win ANOTHER lottery for 85 million? Ask for lightning to strike twice?!? Sure, why not!]. Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 10th, August 2004. [hey reader -- don't even THINK about claiming MY prize money before I do -- you're just jealous because you've "devoted alot of time and money to surfing the web" and you didn't get a million clams for it! Do you really think you've devoted as much time and money as I have?!? Do you really think you deserve this as much as I do?!? Do you?!?!?] After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. [oh no!!!] Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications remember to include your batch and reference numbers with all correspondence. [Gee, I hope there's not alot of lengthy, complicated correspondence where they need my credit card number or my bank account number...] Furthermore, should there be any change of address please inform us as soon as possible. Congratulations once again from all members and staffs of Australia Lottery. [wow -- those Australians are such nice people, aren't they? Kinda makes you forget that they were once a colony made up entirely of criminals...]
Thank you for being part of our promotional program. [no, no -- thank you!]
Kindly contact our pay-point-Agent for your payment advice. [my payment... advice?]
Forward to them the following:
(1). Your full names. [well, I've only got one full name...]
(2) Contact telephone and fax numbers (personal and
official). [I didn't know my my personal number wasn't official...]
(3) Contact Address; Residential and place of work. [just in case they want to visit?]
(4) Your I.D. (personal identification card or number). [is that the bar code number on the back of my neck?
(5) Your reference and Batch Number. [oh yes, you mentioned those before...]
(6) Quote amount won. [don't you know?!? After all, I DID win in the first category!]
Contact of the bank (Pay Point Agent): -
Mrs. Grace Jorgenssen.
Manager: Deutsche Bank De Bary N.V.
Ph: xx.xx.xxx.xxx.xxx.
Fax: xx.xx.xx.xxx.xxx.xxx.
e-mail:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sincerely yours,
Mr. Charles Blake.
(Lottery Coordinator).
Wow, well I guess that's it -- I send them my address and they send me a check for the full amount... one million US dollars. As you can all plainly see, I'm rich -- and all for "devoting my time and money to surfing the web". I'm not sure I'll be continuing to write this blog, as this was meant to chronicle the life and times of a struggling artist, not the jet-setting antics of a wealthy playboy... I just hope this new-found wealth doesn't change me in any way...
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