A rose by any other name would just sound stupid

Let me start by saying I hate titles.  Hate them hate them hate them.  I always have -- they're the bane of my compositional existence.  Why, you ask?  Because there is no other aspect of the presentation of music that will have more impact on an audience; while at the same time, will have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with what they're hearing.  And to make matters worse, the title sets the first impression -- its the eye-popper or the eye-roller.  Done well, its the firm handshake, the confident smile, the pair of expensive shoes (hey guys, evidently women notice this).  Done poorly, its the limp handshake, the piece of spinach caught in your teeth, AND the old chewed-up slippers covered in dog drool, with hole-y mis-matched socks, all rolled into one.

When I first started writing music, I tried to avoid the title issue altogether.  My first composition was called "Untitled".  But I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that up for long... otherwise I'd have to start numbering them ("Untitled #2", "Untitled #3", etc. etc. etc.) and that seemed like a cop-out.  So I went the anti-social route -- the next two pieces I wrote were called "Is" and "If".  These are the kinds of titles that tell the audience nothing, except where they can stick their titles. 

After that, I began writing alot for modern dance and film, which was perfect for me, because nobody CARES what the music is called!  I was happy.  I was content.  I was also fooling myself, because sure enough, I start writing concert music again, and once again, everyone wanted TITLES.

So I try to come up with something that serves the music, and that people will like.  And I really sweat these things out.  Oft-times, I think about it for months.  And when I finally come up with something I like, I'll bounce it off of other people, and sure enough -- NOBODY likes what I've come up with.  Seriously.  Its a phenomenon.  

Take my publishing company -- AVSICTISM Music.  Nobody liked it then, and nobody likes it now (I was still in my "anti-social title phase" at that time, so the name stuck).  I remember I asked my dad what he thought of this title and he told me it sounded like some kinda social disease.  And you should hear the ridiculous titles I came up with for the movements of Chaos Theory... thank God Eric Whitacre finally told me I should just call them movement "1","2", and "3".

So here I am once again -- I've finished a piece of music I'm really excited about, and I've come up with a title that I thought was cool.  And after reading this thread on the BCM Forum, I am convinced that I have come up with THE WORST TITLE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.  It might seem like I was trying to do it, because according to these experts, no title has better fit the qualifications of being 100% pure, unadulterated, unmitigated pidgeon-poop.  According to these guys, its the kind of title that'll make you elbow the guy next to you -- a total stranger, and say:

"Hey, didja see this one called-"

And he'll interrupt you saying:

"Yeah -- I was actually just about to read it out loud in a really sarcastic tone of voice -- like I was asking a question."

And you and that guy will laugh, and the couple next to that guy will notice and say:

"Are you laughing about that title in the program?  We read that a few minutes ago and immediately thought -- who does this composer think he is?!?"

And the young woman sitting in front of them will spin around and say:

"Ohmygod!  I was TOTALLY thinking the same thing!"

And pretty soon, the music has started, and everyone in the audience is still engrossed in the discussion of how lame my title is, and they don't hear the piece, they just keep talking about it's lame-ass title...

I'm at a loss.

Maybe I'll just call it "Untitled #2".